Observation and Writing

Lots of writers, including Steinbeck, write word portraits. A word portrait (or character sketch) is a passage that reveals how someone is feeling inside by describing his or her outside (facial expressions, gestures, way of walking, standing or sitting, manner of dress, hair style, etc.). When people talk to us, their bodies are communicating too. Their hands, facial expressions, and posture express attitudes, moods, and feelings that sometimes conflict with their words. Often body language is more honest than spoken language. In this lesson you will exercise your observation skills by practicing reading body language and then writing word portraits based on your observations. Here is an example of a word portrait or character sketch from Steinbeck’s short novel Of Mice and Men:

“They had walked in single file down the path, and even in the open one stayed behind the other. [This is unusual and significant behavior; the writer points it out because it immediately shows us something about the relationship between the two men.] Both were dressed in denim trousers and in denim coats with brass buttons. Both wore black, shapeless hats [Why are the hats shapeless? What does this tell us about the men? Why are they both dressed the same?] and both carried tight blanket rolls slung over their shoulders. [What does this reveal about where they live?] The first man was small and quick, dark of face, with restless eyes and sharp, strong features. Every part of him was defined: small, strong hands, slender arms, a thin and bony nose. Behind him walked his opposite, a huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, with wide, sloping shoulders; and he walked heavily, dragging his feet a little, the way a bear drags his paws. His arms did not swing at his sides, but hung loosely. [What does this imply about the huge man?] The first man stopped short in the clearing, and the follower nearly ran over him. He took off his hat and wiped the sweatband with his forefinger and snapped the moisture off. His huge companion dropped his blankets and flung himself down and drank from the surface of the green pool; drank with long gulps, snorting into the water like a horse. The small man stepped nervously beside him.

‘Lennie!,’ he said sharply. ‘Lennie, for God sakes don’t drink so much.’  Lennie continued to snort into the pool. The small man leaned over and shook him by the shoulder. ‘Lennie. You gonna be sick like you was last night.’ [The dialect suggests geographical location and educational background. In your opinion have they graduated from college? High school?]

Lennie dipped his whole head under, hat and all, and then he sat up on the bank and his hat dripped down on his blue coat and ran down his back. “Tha’s good,” he said. “You drink some, George. You take a good big drink.” He smiled happily.”

This word portrait has told us (actually shown us) a great deal about both men. WRITE A DESCRIPTION OF EACH MAN BASED ONLY ON STEINBECK’S WORD PORTRAIT. Note that we’ve underlined verbs that help to further delineate the two men. We call these descriptive verbs: they don’t merely convey an action like “get” or “put” or “give”; they suggest the mood behind the action. If Steinbeck had said, “Lennie lay down” instead of “his huge companion…flung himself down,” the character sketch would be less vivid. Why? Similarly, why is “His huge companion dropped his blankets” more effective than “His huge companion set down his blankets”? What does “dropped” tell us that “set down” does not? To write a character sketch like this, a writer must carefully and frequently observe human behavior. Practice observing people as Steinbeck has and jot down your observations in quick character sketches, which you can refine later into word portraits. Writing word portraits will:

1) Sharpen your observation skills and help you better understand human nature.

2) Give you practice in describing human actions with descriptive verbs.

3) Help you appreciate good description and observation in novels and short stories.

Writing Your Own Word Portraits

Observe people interacting or alone in some public place—but not at school or a school function. Don’t get caught watching someone either, like the truck driver in The Grapes of Wrath; it will modify the person’s behavior. You have to be like a hidden camera, a fly on the wall. (For more on observation see “Steinbeck in Forcus, The Art of Seeing,” in The Grapes of Wrath and the American Dream, NEXUS.)

The first step is to carefully observe someone or a pair of people, while discreetly taking notes on facial expressions, gestures, posture, clothing and speech. The second step is to interpret what you see, in other words, read the person’s body language. Also read between the lines of what she or he says. But do not be judgmental, that’s a way of blinding yourself, seeing labels and stereotypes instead of human beings. Next sketch out your word portrait, then gradually refine it. Use descriptive verbs — verbs that convey mood as well as action. And avoid generic verbs like sit, walk, came, went, get, take, make, hold, or put. Generic verbs convey action, but not feeling or attitude. For example, there are many ways of walking, sitting or putting something down. An angry person puts things down differently than a calm person. A tired or depressed man walks differently than a happy or sprightly man. We can often tell how someone feels just by observing how he or she walks: She trudged into the room. He lumbered across the yard to gather more wood. He strutted into the room. Carefully look over the list of descriptive verbs below; each verb describes a different way of walking. Then write a sentence using each descriptive verb.

Next practice using some of these descriptive verbs in character sketches. For example: She trudged into the living room and dropped her books on the floor…. He plodded down the road, staring blankly ahead…. Charlie Chaplin waddles happily from disaster to disaster…. She pranced into the room and announced to her family that she’d gotten the lead in the school play…. He strolled into the office an hour late without appologizing…. She marched into the office and confronted her boss angrily…. (You can practice by watching scenes on videos of people walking, sitting, slumping, etc., then finding the right verbs to convey their actions and moods.)

In the examples above, if instead of descriptive verbs, we used the generic verb WALKED in each sentence, readers couldn’t picture the people being described.

Here’s a few more examples. Instead of the generic: “She SAT on the couch,” try “She PLOPPED on the couch” or “She DROPPED into the chair.” What do these descriptive verbs tell us about how the girl is feeling? What does SAT tell us?

Notice Steinbeck’s use of descriptive verbs in the passage below, which begins chapter 29 of The Grapes of Wrath.

“Over the high coast mountains and over the valleys the gray clouds marched in from the ocean. The wind blew fiercely and silently, high in the air, and it swished in the brush, and it roared in the forests. The clouds came in brokenly, in puffs, in folds, in gray crags; and they piled in together and settled low over the west. And then the wind stopped and left the clouds deep and solid…”

[HINT: When writing word portraits, use a Thesaurus (dictionary of synonyms) to help you find alternatives to generic verbs. Remember, generic verbs merely convey actions; they do not reveal the moods behind actions. Descriptive verbs do both.]

[NOTE: Do not write word portraits of other teenagers or to mock anyone. Mocking is a form of judging, i.e., a way of blinding oneself. When you focus only on someone’s faults, you shut your eyes to the rest of the person. If you want to practice word portraits in class, do so by watching good actors interacting on a video; then write down your observations, using descriptive verbs. Watch the video several times to recheck your observations and insights and to discover new ones. Compare word portraits with your classmates. It’s a good idea to use 30s films for this lesson, in particular The Grapes of Wrath, The Wizard of Oz (the scene between Mrs. Gulch and Dorothy’s family is excellent), Gone With the Wind and Modern Times.]

FOR MORE CREATIVE WRITING LESSONS SEE “WRITING YOUR OWN DRAMA – ARISTOTLE MEETS THE WIZARD OF OZ“

amble—suggests a leisurely walk

lumber—suggests tiredness, depression

march—may suggest determination

parade—suggests showing off

prance—playfully showing off

plod—to walk or move heavily, laboriously

stroll—to walk in an unhurried manner

strut—to walk in a self-important way

saunter—to walk at a leisurely pace

sashay—to swing one’s hips while walking

shuffle—to drag the feet while walking

stride–to walk with long steps in a vigorous, confident manner

EXERCISE

When someone sits across from us to talk, his/her body communicates to us too. Gestures, facial expressions, and posture express attitudes, moods, feelings. A word portrait shows us the inside of a person by describing his or her outside:  how the person walks or sits, how he or she dresses, his or her manner of speaking, and her or his body language.

RULE OF THUMB: SHOW what the person is feeling, don’t TELL what she’s feeling.

STEP 1

WATCH THE WIZARD OF OZ scene in which Miss Almira Gulch drops in at the Gale farm to confiscate Toto. Watch this scene several times. The first time, simply observe everything you can: gestures, manner of speech, facial expressions, movements, the decor of the house, clothing, etc. Afterward jot down all your observations. Then watch the scene again; this time take notes as you watch. When the scene is over, review your notes and correct or refine your previous observations, then add any new ones. Watch the scene again and repeat the review process. Next, answer the following questions:

OUTSIDE THE HOUSE

What is Uncle Henry doing when Miss Gulch arrives?

How does Uncle Henry respond to Miss Gulch’s accusations regarding Toto?

What differences do you observe in the facial expressions and postures of Uncle Henry and Miss Gulch?

INSIDE THE HOUSE

How do the postures of Miss Gulch and Auntie Em differ?

What gestures does Uncle Henry make while listening to Miss Gulch?

If you could put Uncle Henry’s gestures into words, what would they say?

If you could put Dorothy’s movements into words, what would they say?

How does Miss Gulch’s body language show that she has the power? What’s distinctive about the manner in which Miss Gulch speaks?

Does the way Dorothy holds Toto change as the scene progresses?

How do Miss Gulch’s clothes differ from Auntie Em’s?

When and how does Auntie Em’s body language change?

STEP 2

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

First write out the actual dialogue from The Wizard of Oz scene on a Word document (you can easily find it online). Place a space before or after each speaker’s name. In this space you will write a verb that shows how the person speaks: she yells, shouts, mumbles, whispers, etc.

“That dog’s a menace to the community. I’m taking him to the sheriff and make sure he’s destroyed,”_______ Miss Gulch.

“Destroyed?” Dorothy_______. “Toto? Oh, you can’t! You mustn’t! Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! You won’t let her, will you?

“Of course we won’t. Will we, Em?,” Henry________.

You might fill in the first blank with “snapped” and the second with “cried.” How would you fill the third?

Next, increase the space on your Word document between each speaker’s speech, and add descriptions of body language in that space. For example, when Dorothy initially responds to Miss Gulch’s demand, how does she move? In other words, what physical reactions does Dorothy have? What physical reactions does Miss Gulch exhibit? DO THIS WITH THE ENTIRE SCENE.

STEP 3
NOW, USING THE OBSERVATIONS YOU MADE EARLIER, WRITE BRIEF WORD PORTRAITS OF TWO OF THE CHARACTERS AND PLACE YOUR WORD PORTRAITS JUDICIOUSLY IN THE SCENE.

HINT: Often it’s easiest to first write your observations in simple English without worrying about grammar, spelling or punctuation. You’ll correct those later. When you observe how someone moves, sits or stands, first describe it with a generic verb followed by an adverb: Uncle Henry walked casually. Mrs. Gulch sat rigidly. That’s fine for the first stage. You have observed the feeling behind the person’s movements. NEXT, try to find one descriptive verb that conveys how Uncle Henry walked – without using an adverb. Look at the list of “to walk” synonyms above. Do any of these fit the bill? In a thesaurus, look up synonyms for “sit” and then choose the one that best describes Miss Gulch’s way of sitting. NOTE: Sometimes you won’t be able to find an appropriate descriptive verb. In this case you will have to use a generic verb + adverb: She sat gracefully. He spoke nervously.

by Jesse Bryant Wilder, editor

NEXUS – PALLAS COMMUNICATIONS, INC.

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